Blessings

Recently I had the opportunity to watch a movie that I wanted to watch some months ago. The film was a Singaporean film titled “Where Got Ghost?” and was released during the Hungry Ghost Month sometime in August. I had wanted to watch it because I have this fascination for ghost stories, especially those from Singapore. This particular movie is not a horror or ghost movie in the strict sense of the word. It is, as the producer called it, a “hor-medy” a horror plus comedy.

The movie is made up of three different stories revolving around ghosts. But it was the last portion that really caught my attention. One thing about this movie is that it scares you but at the same hilarious as well. For those who understand mandarin and hokkien, the lines are really quite hilarious. The 3rd portion centres around a family and their deceased mother, entitled “Ghost in the House” This is the continuation from another movie entitled “Money No Enough 2”

In the opening scene, we see three brothers and their family praying ton their deceased mother and asking for her blessings to strike lottery. Throughout the segment, they receive visits from their mother. As one would expect, they are scared out of their wits and decided to move their mother’s tablet to a remote temple, something like our columbarium. The decision was made when they encountered a friend who was rich and claimed that he strike every kind of lottery through his deceased mother’s blessings. This sealed the two brother’s decision to stop praying to their mother.

And so the eldest brother brought the tablet to the temple. But, lo and behold, the tablet refused to go. And the eldest brother asked his 2 other brothers to come and all 3 of them put the tablet in the temple and left. Even then, they kept complaining about how unlucky they were.

As they were driving in the heavy rain, they suddenly encountered the spirit of their mother and swerved their car to avoid colliding with her and ended up in a ditch. As they got out and stood in the rain, suddenly an avalanche occurred right in front of them. If the spirit of their mother did not appear they would have perished under the avalanche.

This woke them up and they went back to the temple to bring back their mother’s tablet. On the way out, they encountered their rich friend who was wailing and said that he has been diagnosed with cancer. He then told the 3 brothers that in the end, no matter how money one has, health and safety is still the best blessing one can receive.

You may wonder why I’m sharing about this movie. I can hear my friends asking “What kind of crap are you watching?” or “You Catholic ah?” To me, every movie has a lesson to be learnt. This particular segment reminds me of how I should be thankful for the blessings that I have, not to constantly complain about what I do not have.

Many a times, all of us, are guilty of complaining that life is unfair, that we wish for more things in our lives, more money, better job, better life etc etc…. the list never ends. We’re like a kid who’s constantly asking Santa Claus for Christmas gifts. But our hearts will never be satisfied. No matter how much we have, we will crave for more.

Most of us constantly besiege God for this and that and complain when we don’t get it. We grumble and grumble, as if God owes it to us to grant us riches and material wealth. I was reminded of this when a friend of mine told me that I should be grateful for the things I have because there are many out there who don’t even have basic stuff like shelter and food. And here we are complaining all the time and wasting things that are precious to those who do not have them.

In the Old Testament, King Solomon, when asked by God to make 3 wishes, never asked for riches or immortality or the destruction of his enemy. He asked God for wisdom, and God, pleased with this request granted him wisdom and more. We should really emulate what King Solomon did. Riches and material wealth will pass away. With the increasing occurrences of natural disasters, all our accumulated wealth may just be swept away and what do we have left?

We should, instead, treasure those around us, our family and friends. Our health is already a constant blessing from God. There is saying that says “Many people who in the first half of their lives spend their health looking for wealth, and in the last half spend their wealth looking for health” What is the use of money if we are lying in bed surrounded by oxygen tubes and respirators? Can our money or riches help us then?

Many a times, we fail to see the blessings that we receive from God. These blessings are often very small but they can be very significant. It can be something small like a nice message from our friends or families or our good health, not falling sick despite it all. But are we able to see that as a blessing or we take it as a given? That is something that we need to really think about.

Ultimately, our challenge in life is to be able to recognise the little things that are a blessing to us instead of continually besieging God for the things that we may want but may not necessarily need.

Finding the Balance

About a month ago, a friend of mine sent me an article on the “Slow Down Culture” of Europe. This article describes how some European countries are starting to practise a slow down culture. This is not a culture where we slow down in work or productivity but more of a change of mindset and way of living.

The article also says, “Globalised processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. We have come to possess a need to see immediate results.

“Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe named Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.”

This article reminds me of a story that I read many, many years go. In this story, this man always plans what to do next, never enjoying or savouring what he was doing. When he got up, he was already planning what to eat for breakfast. While at breakfast, he was already thinking what time the train would arrive. While on the train ride, he was already thinking of what he needs to do at the office and so on. Then came the came the day of his death. As he lay on the death bed, he realised that he spent his whole life living in the future and never in the present. His only regret was that he never took time to smell the roses or enjoy a train ride.

Why do I relate this story and article? We live in a society that is always moving and doing things. Not doing anything is seen as a sign of non - productivity and therefore a waste of time. In this modern day and age, we always tend to associate time with work or activity. We seem to have lost the art of relaxing and recreation. Even during our so called holiday or vacation, we are always doing something, shopping, reading etc. Very few of us will actually “do nothing” during our down time.

It takes a lot of faith to be non productive. But what the world sees as non productive can be productive. I’m saying this because it is during our period of non productivity that we recharge. It is during this period that we learn to relax and let our bodies and mind rest. It is during this time that we allow God to come in into our busy life.

We will not notice the presence of God when we are constantly doing things and being busy. On the other hand, we need to be productive and doing things because idle minds are also dangerous. This is the challenge that face us – to find the balance between doing and being.

We’re always in the future and forgetting the present that we never find the time to really enjoy the present. Even for me, it is constantly a challenge to be in the present because my mind constantly plans my next action.

While it is true that God is the God of the past, present and future, we are not. We cannot be in all places at one time. And the only place where God can truly be with us is during the present. But are we present to God? It goes both ways, we need to be present to God in order for God to be present to us.

Are we going to continue to live our lives living in the future, or are we going to be in the present and enjoy the many beautiful things that God has bestowed upon us? The present is the present simply because it is a gift to us. Are we going to cherish that gift or just neglect it? Only we can answer that question and only we can make that choice.

Do We Need A Saviour?

In the movie “Superman Returns”, there is one scene where Superman takes Lois Lane up in the air and flies around the city. Then he asks her “What do you hear?” She replied, “I hear the winds howling” Then Superman said, “You wrote that the world does not need a saviour (that saviour being Superman) but everyday I hear cries of people needing a saviour” Of course in the movie, Superman meant that the world is indeed in need of someone who can save them from disaster and threat, not a saviour in the spiritual sense.

But the question remains… do we need a saviour? There are many people in the world who claims to be atheist, people who claim that they do not believe in god. Modern society is moving towards a situation where many do not believe or are not interested in organised religion or the existence of life after death. This is one of the reasons why people flock to the cinema to watch movies like “The Da Vinci Code” and “Angels and Demons”

Whenever I have some free time, I log on to the Yahoo! Answers website and it really surprises me that there are so many ignorant people out there. One of the most common questions is whether God really exists and the most common answer that I can see is “No, God does not exist”. Another outrageous question is “Doesn’t the story of Jesus reads like a ghost story?” and another would venture an opinion that the Bible is nothing but a fairy tale.

This is also a question that we need to answer for ourselves. For many of us, we go for Mass every Sunday out of habit or obligation. From young we were brought to church by our parents and this in turn becomes our habit and very often, we attend Mass because we feel that we have to. And usually, “attend” is just what we do. Going for Mass every Sunday does not mean we subscribe to the idea of needing a saviour in our lives.

In the days of the Baltimore Catechism, we are taught things like “Who created us?” and “Why did God create us?” The answer would be like “he made us to love and serve him” In other words, God does not really need us. After all, he is the almighty and powerful. Why would anyone who is powerful need anyone? It is we who is in need of God in our lives.

To me, not having God in my life would be like an empty, dry desert. I really cannot imagine a life without God in my life. There are times when I do not feel the need for God. And to be honest, these moment are numerous. I believe that many of us will go through phase every now and then. It is during these dry moments that we will need God even more.

On our own, it would be very difficult for us to climb out of this pit of self pity and depression. Imagine what life would be like for us if we are plagued with depression everyday for the rest of our lives? Not a pleasant thought, I’m sure.

That is the question that we need to ask; do we need a saviour? It may seem like a simple question but the answer is not an easy one. Can we honestly say that we need a saviour? In this age where money and power rules, money and power can and may become our saviour instead of God. If we are not careful, that is where we’ll end up, having money and power as our God instead of God.

Sharing for 28th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Mark 10: 17 - 30)

“There was once a wise woman travelling in the mountains who found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveller who was hungry, and she opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveller saw the precious stone and asked if she might give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveller left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime, but a few days later he came back to return the stone to the woman who had given it to him. ‘I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I’m giving it back in the hope that you can give me something much more precious. I want you to give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone without any hesitation.’

In today’s Gospel reading, we have a rich young man who asks Jesus how to gain eternal life. We know that Jesus told him to obey the laws and commandments. Jesus, knowing that the man was good, asked him to go one step further, to sell all his possessions and give it to the poor and to follow him. And we know that the rich young man walked away feeling sad. The rich young man was so attached to his wealth that he could not see that in order to gain eternal life, he had to sacrifice what is not heavenly. Therefore, his sin was not walking away from eternal life but the sin of attachment.

The emphasis of his whole life and conduct was also selfish in the sense that he only looked at himself and tried to make himself perfect. Because of this, he could not see beyond his own self. In the days of Jesus and the Old Testament, wealth and riches was seen as a sign of blessings and favour from God. Those who were poor were considered abandoned by God, as we can read from the Book of Job.

In today’s materialistic and individualistic world, where money speaks and the “I, me and myself” mentality prevails, we should all the more realise that attachments to things that are earthly can and will draw us away from God. A person who is motivated by money will work and work and do everything he can to get what he desires. In doing this, he neglects his soul and he will no longer feel the need for God. A person who is rich and powerful will never feel the need for God in his life.

There is nothing wrong with being wealthy. There is also nothing wrong with us working to get money. Whatever that is said, money is still an important part of our daily lives. Without money we won’t be able to survive. But to what extent do we go to get money? That is the question we need to ask ourselves. Money begets money and the more we have, the more we crave for it. No matter how much money we have, it’ll never be enough. And when that happens, the money that we have will become our God.

The story of the wise woman I told at the beginning gives us a glimpse of how we can gain eternal life. The woman readily gave away the precious and expensive stone. For most of us, even for me, giving away such a precious stone would definitely be difficult. To someone who is worldly, giving away that stone is a sign of madness. But the woman has something else that is more precious than anything that is material. She was wise and therefore filled with wisdom.

She had something that is esteemed more than “scepters and thrones…compared with her, all gold is a pinch of sand, and beside her silver ranks as mud”. She is more valuable than health, beauty and even the light because “in her company all good things came to me…riches not to be numbered”. For what can be valued more than what brings me love, security, freedom and happiness? And this is what the first reading tells us today.

Wisdom guides us towards God, the Church and Sacraments that justify us and bless us with the gift of salvation. Without wisdom, we are spiritually blind. In spiritual blindness, we become as lost sheep who walk aimlessly, waiting for the wolves to devour them.

So then, the choice is laid before us; wealth or eternal life. Jesus tells us not to store things which will eventually rot way but to store treasures in heaven where neither thief nor disaster can touch them. The choice of eternal life will be up to us; to be like the rich young man or to be like the wise woman. Only we can make that choice. The question is, who will we choose to be?

Building Relationships among Bishops, Clergy, Religious and Laity

Note: I wrote this for the Charismatic Group in SFX PJ for their Sharing of the Word segment in their Prayer Meeting

Building relationships among bishops, clergy, religious and laity
Before we can look at building relationships, we need to first look at what relationship is all about. A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a romantic or intimate relationship, or a parent-child relationship. Individuals can also have relationships with groups of people, such as the relation between a pastor and his congregation, an uncle and a family, or a mayor and a town.

These relationships usually involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.

Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart and form new relationships with others. The natural development of a relationship follows five stages:

1. Acquaintance – the early stage, getting to know one another through first impressions.
2. Buildup – the stage where the relationship grows deeper and more intense.
3. Continuation
4. Deterioration
5. Termination

These five stages are essential for any relationship. If we were to look at the relationship between Jesus and his disciples, we can see most, if not all the stages. The relationship did not immediately form. The disciples had to first get acquainted with Christ. Throughout the whole ministry of Jesus, we can see that the disciples are constantly getting to know Jesus better. And throughout Christ’s ministry, we can observe the building of an intimate relationship between him and his disciples.

If we look at our society today, the need for relationship is important. We are not able to exist on our own. This is because we are all sentient beings. The word sentient comes from the Latin word sentire, which means to think and to feel. This is why we will always have the need to feel and to relate to another person. In the context of the church, this need is even greater because without relationships, the church would be nothing. The word church does not mean the physical structure alone. It also means the community of Christ, which is all of us here. If no relationship exists, community would not exist and the church would not exist too.

The Catholic church is hierarchical but not military in nature. In the military sense, those under authority has no say, only follow orders. The church today no longer practise that style of leadership, where we, the laity only need to “pray, pay and obey”. Let us now look at what this relationship is all about.

In his letter to the Bishop delegates to the Fifth Plenary Assembly of the FABC, the late Pope John Paul II wrote, “As spiritual guides of their flocks, bishops should be zealous in promoting the sanctity of their clergy, their religious and their laity according to the vocation of each individual. remembering that they are under an obligation to give an example of sanctity in charity, humility and simplicity of life”

“In exercising his office of father and pastor, the bishop should be with his people as one who serves, as a good shepherd who knows his sheep and whose sheep know him, as a true father who excels in his love and solicitude for all.”

From this statement, we can see that our relationship with the bishop is one of shepherd and sheep. And since he is the shepherd, we trust that he will lead us to our ultimate destination. Trust is one of the key elements in a relationship.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:
886 "The individual bishops are the visible source and foundation of unity in their own particular Churches." As such, they "exercise their pastoral office over the portion of the People of God assigned to them," assisted by priests and deacons. But, as a member of the episcopal college, each bishop shares in the concern for all the Churches. The bishops exercise this care first "by ruling well their own Churches as portions of the universal Church," and so contributing "to the welfare of the whole Mystical Body, which, from another point of view, is a corporate body of Churches." They extend it especially to the poor, to those persecuted for the faith, as well as to missionaries who are working throughout the world.

The relationship between the bishop and the diocesan clergy should be based before all else on supernatural charity, so that their unity of purpose will make their pastoral activity more effective. Therefore, to ensure an increasingly effective apostolate, the bishop should be willing to engage in dialogue with his priests, individually and collectively, not merely occasionally, but if possible, regularly. He should always be ready to listen to them and cultivate an atmosphere of easy familiarity with them, thus facilitating the pastoral work of the entire diocese. This is why the clergy have monthly recollection.

The relationship between clergy and laity is above all one of complementary. It must be an attitude of charity, mutual respect and cooperation. The priest should encourage the laity. Their role and charisms are necessary and a collaboration of all the faithful must exist in the Church's mission.

All religious are under an obligation, in accordance with the particular vocation of each, to work zealously and diligently for the building up and growth of the whole Mystical Body of Christ and for the good of the particular churches.

So how do we build relationships among ourselves? Let us first look at the factors that can help foster a good relationship. As I mentioned earlier, trust is one of the key elements in a relationship. In fact, trust comes first before anything else, because if there is no trust, problems are bound to occur. All of us, regardless of status or vocation, need to trust one another – bishop needs to trust their priests and religious, priests needs to trust their congregation and the congregation needs to trust their priests and bishops. If we are not able to have this trust, we will not believe what they say or do and this will cause the whole structure to collapse. Trust is the heart of a relationship.

There will be times when we find that we are not able to trust. When this happens, we need to ask ourselves why. It is really important to understand where the mistrust is coming from. When we are aware of the cause of our mistrust, we can then understand and know how to trust one another.

But even before we can talk about trust, there’s another element that precedes it, honesty. If you are in a relationship with a person who does not possess a high standard of honesty, you will never be able to fully trust them. When in a relationship, we should be able to completely and unequivocally believe everything that the other party tells us.

In St Paul’s letter to Titus, he says “ and there must be no pilfering -- they must show complete honesty at all times, so that they are in every way a credit to the teaching of God our Saviour” Honesty is a mark of God on us.

Are we honest with ourselves? Before we can look for honesty in others, we need to look within ourselves and examine our own honesty. As Christ said in Luke 6:42, “How can you say to your brother, "Brother, let me take out that splinter in your eye," when you cannot see the great log in your own? Hypocrite! Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take out the splinter in your brother's eye” If we cannot be honest with ourselves, we have no right to expect honesty from others.

Another key element is respect. In his first letter to the Thessalonians, St Paul says, “Have the greatest respect and affection for them because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves”. The “them” was referring to the leaders of the community then. For us, we need to have the greatest respect for our priests, religious and bishop because of their work and not because of their popularity. Bishops and priests are chosen by God to lead his flock, guided by the Holy Spirit to lead the faithful. The church is not a reality TV show where we vote off those whom we do not like or vote for those we like to be elected bishops or ordained priests.

More than that, we also need to have the greatest respect for each other, for each of us contribute, in our own way, to the Mystical Body of Christ, the church. As St Peter, in his first letter says, “Have respect for everyone and love for your fellow-believers”

A relationship needs respect to move two people closer together, when a person realises they are very well respected by another person they begin to feel trust

The most important element is, of course, love. We know that for us, there are 3 types of love. They are agape, philia and eros. Agape is unconditional love, philia fraternal love and eros sexual love. But in the context of ourn theme, let us concentrate on agape and philia.

So what is this “love”? The Oxford’s Dictionary defines love as a warm liking or affection for something or someone. This is a very general meaning because love cannot be described in words but by actions. Personally, I think there are two kinds of love – conditional and unconditional love. Conditional love is when we put conditions on our feelings. For example, we love someone because they can be of use to us, and they also can be at our disposal. This kind of love is relatively not good because we would be abusing love to use it for our own good. We should not love a person because of their possessions, or outward appearance, or because they can provide us with the things we need. We should instead love a person for who they are. This is unconditional love.

St Paul, in 1 Corinthians 16:1, says “Let everything you do be done in love” In order to build a good relationship with amongst ourselves, everything we do must be because of love. God loved us so much that his only Son died for us. We are the recipients of this immense love and we should share this great love with others, especially those whom we are in relationship with. Christ tells us not only to love our friends, but also our enemy or those we do not like.

For us to have a good and successful relationship, our love for one another must be pure and without pretence. As St Paul says in his letter to the Romans, “Let love be without any pretence. Avoid what is evil; stick to what is good.” (Rom 12:9) If our love is superficial and false, the relationship that we have will not last. Our love for another must not be mere words alone. Love is best expressed through action. Our love therefore must translate into action. How do we do that? Again, St Paul gives us the answer, “With all humility and gentleness, and with patience, support each other in love” (Eph 4:2) By giving support to our bishops, priests, religious and also to one another, we are translating our love into action.

In his encyclical, Deus Caritas Est, Pope Benedict XVI, wrote: “a human being, created in the image of God, who is love, is able to practice love; to give himself to God and others and by receiving and experiencing God's love in contemplation. This life of love is the life of the saints such as Teresa of Calcutta and the Blessed Virgin Mary and is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them”

When we receive and experience God’s love for us, we will be able to share that love with others. In doing so, we will be able to build up the relationship among one another, regardless of status or vocation. When we have God’s love within us, we will naturally want to make the relationship work, we will naturally want to ensure that our relationship with one another does not fail.

The final element is dialogue or communication. We cannot and will not be able to get know one another and build up a relationship without constant dialogue. Many relationships fail due to the lack of communication. The value of a relationship is in direct proportion to the time that we invest in the relationship. The more time we are willing to spend in communication with the other person, the stronger our relationship will be.

Both talking and listening is essential in any relationship. Talking enables the other party to understand and get to us know better. Listening may sound like an easy thing to do, but many confuse it with hearing. Hearing what the other party is saying versus listening to them, are indeed very different. Listening means that we are interested in learning more about what the other is making an effort to tell us. Dialogue must be frank and heartfelt. Without the elements of trust, respect, honesty and love, our dialogue will be meaningless and empty.

In saying all of this, it does not mean that our relationship with one another will be all rosy and without problems. There is no perfect relationship. But through all these elements, we will be able to forge a better, stronger relationship among each other.

With God’s grace and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we will be able to establish and grow in these relationships.

“These remained faithful to the teaching of the apostles, to the brotherhood, to the breaking of bread and to the prayers'. (Acts 2:42)

Perfect Imperfection

About one or two months ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to Youtube. The link led to a commercial depicting a funeral. The commercial was produced by the Singapore Ministry of Community, Youth and Sports The widow was giving the eulogy and after watching it, tears welled up in my eyes. It was what she said that brought those tears to my eyes. One of the most profound things she mentioned was “it was these little imperfections that made him perfect for me”

I believe that there are many in this world who is always on the lookout for perfection in a partner. A girl looking for a partner wants him to be handsome or the guys would look for a beautiful or “hot” (as the modern terminology goes) girl to date. Some may say that I’m wrong, but if you were to look around shopping complexes or newspapers, the truth is not that far off.

When I walk to work in the morning, I would pass by shops that offer slimming sessions or body sculpting (whatever that is). And there are many shops like that. If society is not looking for a perfect person, why would there be such shops? Even in newspapers, I see advertisements which offers “asset enhancement” for the women. If my statement were false, how then would these shops stay in business?

Another example would be this. The entertainment industry is famous for parading beautiful women in movies. Stars like Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba or the latest bombshell – Megan Fox – makes male cinema goers go gaga. I get so many statements from my friends about how “hot” these women are.

I’m not saying that all of us are like that. I believe that there are people who do not look for perfection. But judging by the movies and advertisements that being produced, it is quite clear that, by and large, we are looking for some form of perfection.

The question is, will all these outer perfections last? We all know that what is external will not last. Bodies will decay no matter what we try to do to it. You can try plastic surgery, botox, whatever but sooner or later, the side effects will show on our body. We can never be beautiful or handsome forever.

I do not know how many of you have watched Disney’s adaptation of “Beauty and the Beast” The beauty – named Belle – dreamed of meeting Prince Charming who would sweep her off her feet. As the story goes, she is trapped in the castle of the Beast – once a handsome prince but selfish and insensitive. The beast had to obtain the love of a maiden before the last flower petal fell. In the end, he did win the love of Belle, who saw through his external appearance and saw him as he his. She saw his inner self and saw beauty there.

That movie showed me that, more than anything else, character is more important than looks. We can beautiful or handsome but we may not have a matching character. Our character is what we must nurture, not our external self. Although it is important to be presentable, it is more important to keep our character presentable. Being beautiful or handsome but abusive or foul mouthed will not help us in the end.

I work in the training industry and therefore meet many people in the course of my work. From my own experience, those who are handsome or beautiful usually do not have very good characteristics. The good looking ones are usually snobbish or look down on those of lesser looks. The good looking guys would be arrogant, thinking that girls will worship the ground they walk on. Not all of them are like that but a good majority are. And I find it very sad because the flaw in their character has over shadowed their external looks.

We should not look for what cannot last. Instead, we ought to look for that which can last, inner beauty instead of external beauty. Because ultimately, “it is these little things, these imperfections that makes him/her perfect for me”

A beautiful thing is never perfect.

Forgiveness and Unforgiveness

There were once 2 men named Jim and Pat. Now, Jim and Pat has been enemies for many years and both have refused to forgive the other as both thought that the other party was wrong and they were right.

One day, Jim fell ill and was admitted into the hospital. The doctor told him that it would be good for him to settle whatever grievances that he had in case he didn’t make it. And so Jim called Pat to his bedside and said to him, “Pat, we have been enemies for all these years and we never reconcile with one another. The doctor told me that I should settle all my grievances and so I say let bygones be bygones. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness as well”

And Pat, in the same spirit said, “Yes let bygones be bygones. Life is too short to be unforgiving” And they talked a bit more and when the time came for Pat to leave, Jim said, “Remember Pat, this counts only if I die!”

The story illustrates to us that on many occasions, when people say that they forgive a person, very often they are just paying a lip service to the word. Deep inside, the unforgiveness still festers. Everyday in our lives, we encounter situations where friction will occur and some form of reconciliation is necessary in order to move on. But many a times, we choose not to be reconciled and this causes us to be hampered down.

There are some people who just want to hold on to the grudge they feel towards another person. And to make it worse, they feed and live on that grudge, letting it grow and fester as the years go by. Our hatred and anger at that one person is like throwing firewood into a fire, causing it to grow and burn even more fiery. And before we know it, the fire will just consume us and burn us to death.

Unforgivess is like having a wound on us and we refuse to treat it in hope that it’ll heal or go away. But we know that wounds do not heal on its own. Even if it does, it takes a long time before it heals and even then, it may not heal completely and our bodily health would have been affected by the wound.

Have you ever had the feeling that you are over burdened, weighed down with a heavy load, or living day to day with a heavy heart? Unforgiveness is like that. It’s like a stone tied round our ankle and we’re just dragging it everywhere we go. Forgiveness is to throw away the stone and be free of the burden that we are carrying.

In his book “Travelling light” by, author Max Lucado speaks of the importance of letting go of our burdens and travelling light. This means to let go of all our unforgiveness, all that is negative in us and be free. Travelling light means to be free, to be liberated of what is harmful to us.

Jesus himself is an excellent example of the act of forgiveness. He teaches us to forgive our brothers not 7, but 70 times 7 times. Of course, this does not mean that we start counting and stop forgiving when we have satisfied that number. What he meant was we need to forgive continually and not stop because we feel that we have forgiven enough.

Forgiveness does not mean just saying “I forgive you” and be done with it. Forgiveness involves more than lip service. We need to mean it in our hearts as well, to genuinely mean what we say. There are people who says “I forgive you” but will continually bring up the person’s faults and wrongdoing. This is not forgiveness. If we still choose to hold on to the grudge that we have against another person, then forgiveness is just a lip service.

When Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery, he did not accuse her of anything or bring up a litany of her sins. We all know what he said to the crowd, “Let those who did not sin cast the first stone.” And no one dared to cast a stone and they all left. And Jesus, with infinite love and compassion, forgave that woman and told her to go in peace. Are we able to do this, to truly understand that no one of us has not sinned and therefore refused to forgive another? Can anyone of us truly say that we are righteous and others are not?

The ultimate act of forgiveness was by Jesus himself. He forgave his executors, saying that they did not know what they do. He also forgave the thief who was hung with him. This total act of forgives is an act that we can learn from. Of course, we will not be able to forgive like Jesus did as we are just human. But we can do our best to forgive. All we need is God’s grace and spirit to enable us to forgive from our hearts and not just from our lips.

All of us are familiar with the Lord’s prayer, the Our Father. One of the lines is “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” Jesus tells us in order to be forgiven, we need to forgive others as well. And I think we also need to forgive ourselves.

So let us, all of us, start by choosing to live a life free of unforgiveness. Let us be able to truly recite the Our Father with our hearts and not with our lips.

5 Loaves and 2 Fishes

I often think about that boy

when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Corrinne May – 5 Loaves and 2 Fishes

When my friend, Jane, introduced me to the songs of Corrinne May some weeks ago, I was particularly attracted to the song entitled “5 Loaves and 2 Fishes” (Verse 2 of the song above). The second verse of the song really struck me.

Many years ago, while still in active ministry, I had always wanted to do big things… things which would make me stand out, to be someone, to be recognised. I’m quite sure that many of us go through that stage of life as well. As Fr Larry Tan SJ said in one of his homilies, “We fear to become someone unknown.” At that time, I really feared that I would fade into obscurity.

Many years has passed. I’m (I hope) much wiser but I realised that I still had that notion of doing something great and big. I complained when I was asked to do little things. In other words, I felt under utilised.

But I forget that it is Christ who magnifies what we do for him. Just like the story of “5 Loaves and 2 Fishes”. All Jesus had was 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes and yet, he managed to feed 5 thousand people and had left over too (sounds like all those dinners that I go to in church hahaha)

If Christ can use that little amount of food to feed so many people, how much more can he use our gifts and talents (however small) for his greater glory and for the benefit of others.

I remember this one story where the late Pope John Paul II was meeting 3 priests. The first one said, “I’m Fr so and so and I’m a professor teaching in a university” and Pope John Paul simply said “Nice to meet you” The second priest also did the same and the same thing happened. The third priest, with a soft voice, said “I’m Fr so and so, I’m just a simple parish priest in a small parish” And guess what happened? Pope John Paul II, so the story goes, knelt down in front of the priest and kissed his hand, saying “It is you who are doing the work of the church”

And so, every now and then, I would remind myself that “no gift is too small” in the service of Christ. Whatever I do, whether big or small I must remember that Christ can use it and transform it into something more beautiful than I can ever imagine. And “all he needs is my Amen”

So take my five loaves and two fishes,

Do with it as you will,

I surrender.

Take my fears, my inhibitions,

all my burdens, my ambitions.

You can use it all.

No gift is too small.

And this is my prayer. To give to the Lord my gifts and talents and let him use it as he will. Because ultimately, it is for his greater glory that we strive for, not our own.

Here and there...

When I first got news that my dad has colon cancer, I was shocked. My mind went numb. It's like "How can this be?" And so sms were flying between me and Angie, my second sis on the situation. And since the operation was due to take place on Monday, I decided to take extra leave on Monday.

Yesterday while on the way to church, fear filled my heart, not knowing what to do or how to deal with this kind of situation. Although I have done pastoral care in a cancer hospital before, those people whom I met were strangers. This is my dad! Sigh... I couldn't really think straight ( I can hear my friends saying "Since when you ever think?")

So I decided to just pray for strength and for God's blessing on my dad as I did not know what exactly was the situation. After Mass, I went for dinner then home, wanting to sleep early because I had to get up early the next day. The following I was to follow a dear friend down to Melaka. I would go home and talk to my parents and offer whatever support I could.

The worse thing was I couldn't sleep. My eyes were wide open. Maybe it the tea that I drank :) or maybe it was the pain in my ribs. I don't know but I slept past 1am and got up around 6am. I was half asleep when I drove to SFX P to meet my friend. Lucky the roads were still clear.

And so, we made the journey down. When I got hme, I saw my dad outside the house. He looked so thin and his voice was so soft that I felt pain in my heart. I talked to him there and then and got more information on the situation. He also told me that he is to go to the hospital later. (the hospital is just opposite my house, well.. not excatly but close)

At 11.30am, me, my mum and my dad went to the hospital to arrange for admittance on Sunday for surgey and also to see the specialist. We waited quite awhile for the biopsy report. My legs were really stiff by then (really like cardboard) so I had to get up and walk around.

Finally we got to see the doctor and got the diagnosis from him and what's going to take place the next few days. That was the toughest part. Receiving the diagnosis, like having something blowing up in the face. I think my dad was in a shock and my mum shed tears. I can sense how they feel so I tried my best to comfort them.

Now we can only pray and hope for the best. The doctor is confident and optimistic though and I think that's a good sign. So we are kkeping our fingers crossed and most importantly, putting our trust in God.

That's all we can do. Pray.

A Reflection on Luke 16: 19 – 31

You may be wondering why I chose this passage or parable. Some of you might think that it has nothing to do with us. But the parables of Jesus can be interpreted in many ways and different people have different perceptions. So let me explain how I perceive this passage.

There are three characters in this passage; the rich man, Lazarus (the poor) and Abraham. When the rich man was alive, he treated Lazarus as if he wasn’t there. He never bothered about Lazarus but only cared for his own interest and need. Only when he died and was suffering that he realised his mistake. .

The rich man in this passage represents the general population of the world today especially those who are rich and well to do. Lazarus represents the poor, the sick, the needy and those who are ousted by our modern society. Very often, we tend to close one eye to the suffering around us. We have the tendency to say “Let others help tem” because we do not wish to be involved. Sadly, I, too, sometimes behave in that manner. We are just too busy with our own lives.

The rich man’s sins were not merely the love of money but also the love of self. This parable shows how duplicitous our hearts can be. In our strive for happiness, we would do almost anything to achieve wealth, popularity or success. But when it comes to doing God’s work, we find it difficult to do. Our worldly pursuits and material gain often blinds us from the needs of those around us.

Today’s modern generation are brought up in a very materialistic way of life. Parents would often stress on getting good grades in studies so as to get a good job or so that they will not lose out to the rest. By the time the children grow up, all they have in their mind is the “I, me and myself” concept. There are many students who are like that. They think only of themselves most of the time. All they think of is to study, get good results and get a good job with a high salary. If they don’t get it, they’ll grumble and start blaming everyone else. This should not be the way.

Even for us who are working, the “kiasu/kiasi” mentality is slowly creeping in. I remember the one time when I saw a car sticker that says “You kiasu, I kiasi” and I thought to myself “What is happening to us?” We call it the “passion” for success but to what extent do we go in order to achieve that success? Do we ignore those along the way, those who are in need of our help? Do we say to them, “Sorry, but I’m busy” or do we say, “I’m busy but, here, let me lend you a hand first”?

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, this is the season of Lent. It is a season to help us relieve our spiritual journey by rediscovering God’s presence in those who are in need. Jesus once said "In truth I tell you, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me." (Mt 25:40) If we ignore those who are in need, we are also ignoring Jesus himself.

Be compassionate as God is compassionate to you. If we do not love others, especially those who are most in need of love, then how can we say that we love God? Only a hypocrite would do such a thing. By caring for the needy and showing our love, we receive God’s graces more abundantly. Do we want to end up like the rich man, or do we want to be like Lazarus? The choice is there for us, to let our hearts be set on material things or to open them to the needs of others.

Martyrs - Living or Dead?

Some years ago, I remember reading a story about Abraham Lincoln and one of his staff. This happened during the Civil War. One of Abraham Lincoln’s staff, who was a clerk of sorts, kept complaining that he was stuck in the office pushing papers while many others were “out there” making a difference. One day Lincoln told him “Young man, you seem eager to die for your country but you don’t seem at all eager to live for it”

I’m quite sure that many, if not all of us have come across stories of suicide bombers who were ready to die for their country or religion. We have heard about Kamikaze pilots from Japan during the Second World War, suicide bombers who crashed into the Twin Towers and Pentagon during 9/11 and many more cases of people simply willing to sacrifice their lives to further promote the cause of their country or religious beliefs.

Even for us Catholics, our history is littered with people who died defending our faith. Stephen, who was stoned to death, some of the Apostles and down to the ages including people like Oscar Romero. But what defines a martyr?

The term martyr (Greek μάρτυς martys "witness") is most commonly used today to describe an individual who sacrifices their life (or personal freedom) in order to further a cause or belief for many. This may not subscribe to our outlook of what a martyr is but the original Greek word means simply that – a witness.

If you asked me, I’d rather have a living martyr. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think that dead martyrs are useless. The thing about those who have died for the faith is that remember them only once a year during their feast day or rather the day they were martyred, we celebrate Mass and pray for their intercession and distribute leaflets about their lives and how their story should inspire us. There us nothing wrong with this, it is a good thing to remember them and find inspiration from them. But how often are we deeply touched by them? Year after year after year and it becomes nothing but a memory.

We celebrate memorials and feasts commemorating the holy people who have borne witness to the faith and paid the price for it. We extol their virtue and speak of how we should imitate them. But how many of us really strive to imitate them?
A living martyr is different. They are a living proof that freedom and individuality is very much alive in this world. A good example is Aung San Suu Kyi. She is still very much alive but until today she remains a living symbol for those who are politically oppressed. She continues to be the beacon of hope to those who have all but lost their hope.

While she was alive, Mother Theresa was also considered a living saint by many, including those from other faiths. I have read once that a Hindu said of Mother Theresa to the volunteers doing missionary work in the slums that though they do not welcome missionaries, they still recognse living saints. Coming from a Hindu, that is a rare compliment indeed.

So which is our choice? A dead martyr or a living one? Both can be a source of inspiration. Both are signs that our faith is still very much alive. But sometimes, we think of a dead martyr only once a year or occasionally, whereas we hear about living martyrs all the time. These living martyrs keep the flame of hope alive, they keep the flame of faith alive. And most importantly, they are a living witness to the love of God and the teachings of Christ.

If we were given a choice, which would we choose to be? Search our hearts and we will find our answer.

This Beautiful Night

Note: Another song that I wrote (lyrics only). My friend composed the melody. Written one year after "The Meaning of Christmas", can't remember the exact date but I think it's somewhere in November/December 1996.

Verse 1: God longed to show His great love for us
A love which many has forgotten
So He sent Jesus as His sign of love
A special gift from above

Chorus: Tonight is a very special night
When from heaven came a light so bright
Which made everything beautiful to sight
And Christ was born on this beautiful night

Verse 2: So we must share the magic of Christmas
And spread God's everlasting love
The many songs which we joyfully sing
Unto others we must bring

Bridge: Reach out to those who are lonely
Be with them and make them happy
For this is what Christmas is all about
To share the love that we have found

The Season of Lent

Jock, the painter, often would thin his paint so it would go further. So when the Church decided to do some deferred maintenance, Jock was able to put in the low bid, and got the job. As always, he thinned his paint way down with turpentine.

One day while he was up on the scaffolding -- the job almost finished -- he heard a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.

The downpour washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off his scaffold and onto the lawn among the gravestones and puddles of thinned and worthless paint.

Jock knew this was a warning from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: “Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?”

And from the thunder, a mighty voice: “REPAINT! REPAINT! AND THIN NO MORE!”

On Wednesday, we celebrated Ash Wednesday, where ashes are placed on our forehead to mark our repentance and mourning. In the Old Testament, this was also a way to show repentance for one’s sins. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the season of Lent, a forty day period of fasting and abstinence.

Just as the Israelites who spent 40 years in the desert and Jesus, who spent 40 days in the desert, we too need to spend our 40 days in the “desert”. Jesus spent 40 days in the desert and was tempted by the devil. Just like Jesus, Lent is a time for us to be tested, to resist the temptation of the Devil and to turn away from our sin. The formula that is recited upon receiving the ashes on our forehead is “Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel”. This is central to what Christ taught when he first started his earthly ministry, to repent and believe in the Good News.

This is why the Church encourages us to fast and abstain during this season. Fasting and abstaining helps us to be more aware of ourselves and our character. For instance, I’m the type of person who must have meat everyday, but I also know that I need a balanced and healthy diet. So during this season, I try to cut down on my meat intake and eat more vegetables. This helps me to have a better and healthier lifestyle.

But is it enough to abstain from certain types of food? Very often, we hear that people will resolve to abstain from meat during Lent, or abstain from playing computer games etc. What is the meaning of abstinence? The poem below perhaps best describe what it means to fast

Fast from fear; Feast on Faith
Fast from despair; Feed on hope.
Fast from depressing news; Feed on prayer.
Fast from discontent; Feast on gratitude.
Fast from anger and worry; Feed on patience.
Fast from negative thinking; Feast on positive thinking.
Fast from bitterness; Feed on love and forgiveness.
Fast from words that wound; Feast on words that heal.
Fast from gravity; Feast on joy and humor.

The word conversion comes from the Greek “metanoia”, a change not only of the heart and a directional change as well. Dare we take up the challenge and change the way we live? The season of Lent helps us to fast and abstain and hopefully become a better person. But how of many emerge after Lent a better person? I dare say that many of us remain the same and usually revert to our old former self (I say this of myself as well)

Let us then pray for the grace and courage to really change our lives this Lent and internalise that change to become a better person and a better disciple of Christ.

The Meaning of Christmas

Note: This was the first song I ever wrote. I was 20 when I wrote this on Christmas of '95. A friend of mine composed the melody and it has only been sung 3 or 4 times in public.

Verse 1: Standing by the road a boy with no home
No one to turn to, nowhere to roam
Everyone who passed by turn a blind eye
He doesn't know what Christmas is
'Cos there;s no one there to show him

Verse 2: Sitting by the corner of a dark, deserted street
She sits all alone, with nothing to eat
She is growing old and weary everyday
She has no one to call her own
Has no future to look forward to

Chorus: Where has the meaning of Christmas gone to?
What has this special season turned into?
How can we celebrate it meaningfully?
When someone out there is living miserably
Why can't we share our love and care?
With all the people who needs us there

Verse 3: If you dare to share the love and kindness from your heart
Stretch out your hand to those who need your care
Never fear 'cos Jesus is always there
Long as we really, really care
The people in need will never be in despair

Bridge: Show the world what Christmas is
Bring Jesus into their midst
Teach them courage, give them hope
Though nobody cares, they'll know
That Jesus cares, that Jesus cares

End: Why can't we share our love and care
With all the people who need us there (2x)

Spiritual Love

Spiritual Love

Love is the ability to wait

Love is always doing to others

Love rejoices in others’ success

Love never boasts about what it does

Love does not look down on others

Love is courteous and polite

Love focuses in helping others succeed

Love does not get angry easily

Love looks at the good side of people

Love is broken hearted when someone sins

Love is glad when there is uprightness and justice

Love is willing to carry others’ burdens

Love keeps up even when one keeps failing

Love does not give up when all have given up

Love is willing to go through excruciating pain

When you are in LOVE, in the eyes of God, you will never fail. God will always help you because…

GOD IS LOVE

Lessons to Be Learned

Why did the right road take the wrong turn
Why did our heart break, why'd we get burned
Just like the seasons,
There are reasons for the path we take
There are no mistakes, just lessons to be learned

- Lessons to Be Learned

- Barbara Streisand

As the countdown for the new year began, I thought to myself, “Well..a year has gone by and a new year is about to begin. What did I learn during this past year?” I realised that I never really thought about this. Indeed, every single day of our life is filled with learning experiences and yet how many of us are actually able to recognise them as such?

I’m quite sure that there are many of us who simply will not recognise or acknowledge lessons that can be learned from life. One simple example would be this; we know that we have an early day the next day and yet we still go for a late night out. And all we do the next day is complain about how tired we are. We know that we have to work and yet we go out and enjoy ourselves. And sometimes we do this over and over again without thinking. We should have learned our lesson by the second time. And yet, we don’t. We never learn. Why?

Another form of lesson that can be learnt is our mistakes. Modern society looks on mistakes as some malicious disease that must be avoided at all cost. But without mistakes we will never learn anything. So many inventions, medicines and so forth started as mistakes. The aeroplane was never successfully built on the first try. No vaccine will be 100% effective on its first try. It often takes countless mistakes and re tries before anything comes to fruition.

Just imagine this – if people like Alexander Graham Bell or Thomas Edison gave up after making a few mistakes, we would have never had the telephone or the light bulb. Everything happens for a reason, every mistake that was made happens for a reason. The reason is that we can learn from them and become wiser and not make the same mistake again. If we do not learn and become better from our mistakes, then our whole life would have been a failure.

Of course, no one wants to make a mistake, especially if it involves big sums of money. In places like the Stock Exchange or a trading company, a simple mistake can cost a person huge amounts of money. But then, no one is perfect and mistakes are bound to happen every now and then. We live in an imperfect world filled with imperfect people. The one thing that can help us get up again after falling down is to acknowledge the mistake we made and to resolve not to repeat the same mistake. That very act of acknowledgement and resolve will make us into a wiser person. In doing this act, we would have learned something more valuable than anything we will learn in a classroom.

So even though we sometimes make what seems to be a bad choice or lousy decision, we ask ourselves why we were so dumb as to make that lousy choice. The truth is, we’re not dumb. Bad judgement maybe, but not dumb. Because mistakes are lessons in the making. And mistakes will help us to be more cautious the next time round and to see what should be done and what should not. If we are afraid of making mistakes, we will never advance through life and worst of all, we will never grow.

When we think of ourselves as dumb, if we repeat it often enough or have the statement repeated to us, sooner or later, we will become dumb. Tell a person that he is stupid often enough and he will become stupid and become incapable of learning anything. We should avoid calling ourselves stupid or dumb because it will have a detrimental effect on our lives and personality. And we should not call others stupid either. (Unfortunately, I’m guilty of this too) Very often, it is done unconsciously and we do not realise the negative effect that it will bring.

So remember; every time we make a mistake, think of it as a lesson to be learned. We will go through life making many mistakes, the trick is to be able to learn from these mistakes and use these lessons to improve our own lives and the lives of others around us.