Saturday, July 25, 2009

Perfect Imperfection

About one or two months ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to Youtube. The link led to a commercial depicting a funeral. The commercial was produced by the Singapore Ministry of Community, Youth and Sports The widow was giving the eulogy and after watching it, tears welled up in my eyes. It was what she said that brought those tears to my eyes. One of the most profound things she mentioned was “it was these little imperfections that made him perfect for me”

I believe that there are many in this world who is always on the lookout for perfection in a partner. A girl looking for a partner wants him to be handsome or the guys would look for a beautiful or “hot” (as the modern terminology goes) girl to date. Some may say that I’m wrong, but if you were to look around shopping complexes or newspapers, the truth is not that far off.

When I walk to work in the morning, I would pass by shops that offer slimming sessions or body sculpting (whatever that is). And there are many shops like that. If society is not looking for a perfect person, why would there be such shops? Even in newspapers, I see advertisements which offers “asset enhancement” for the women. If my statement were false, how then would these shops stay in business?

Another example would be this. The entertainment industry is famous for parading beautiful women in movies. Stars like Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba or the latest bombshell – Megan Fox – makes male cinema goers go gaga. I get so many statements from my friends about how “hot” these women are.

I’m not saying that all of us are like that. I believe that there are people who do not look for perfection. But judging by the movies and advertisements that being produced, it is quite clear that, by and large, we are looking for some form of perfection.

The question is, will all these outer perfections last? We all know that what is external will not last. Bodies will decay no matter what we try to do to it. You can try plastic surgery, botox, whatever but sooner or later, the side effects will show on our body. We can never be beautiful or handsome forever.

I do not know how many of you have watched Disney’s adaptation of “Beauty and the Beast” The beauty – named Belle – dreamed of meeting Prince Charming who would sweep her off her feet. As the story goes, she is trapped in the castle of the Beast – once a handsome prince but selfish and insensitive. The beast had to obtain the love of a maiden before the last flower petal fell. In the end, he did win the love of Belle, who saw through his external appearance and saw him as he his. She saw his inner self and saw beauty there.

That movie showed me that, more than anything else, character is more important than looks. We can beautiful or handsome but we may not have a matching character. Our character is what we must nurture, not our external self. Although it is important to be presentable, it is more important to keep our character presentable. Being beautiful or handsome but abusive or foul mouthed will not help us in the end.

I work in the training industry and therefore meet many people in the course of my work. From my own experience, those who are handsome or beautiful usually do not have very good characteristics. The good looking ones are usually snobbish or look down on those of lesser looks. The good looking guys would be arrogant, thinking that girls will worship the ground they walk on. Not all of them are like that but a good majority are. And I find it very sad because the flaw in their character has over shadowed their external looks.

We should not look for what cannot last. Instead, we ought to look for that which can last, inner beauty instead of external beauty. Because ultimately, “it is these little things, these imperfections that makes him/her perfect for me”

A beautiful thing is never perfect.