When I first watched the Reluctant Saint musical in 1997 (or 98, can’t really remember), it did not have much impact on me. A that time I was only 22 or 23 years old, young and inexperienced, so it was no wonder that I did not find the musical touching..
Recently, they staged this musical again. Although I knew about the project and I was besieged by some of my friends to buy the ticket, I found myself not having the interest to buy them.
But I guess God has his own plans. About 2 weeks before the musical ended, a friend of mine asked me whether I wanted to watch the musical as she has got extra tickets. Although I was reluctant, I just said yes. That yes really surprised me too. But I guess God works in mysterious ways too.
So on the night of the show, we went to Sentul, first to have dinner then to KLPAC for the show. The amount of people who were there surprised me because I heard that the tickets weren’t selling well. And I knew that I did not have any expectations for the musical though some of my friends who have watched it kept telling me that it was really good. I went in without expectations and just wanted to see for myself. And what a show it was!
I found myself constantly wiping tears from my eyes. The songs were simply wonderful and the words really hit me, not on the head level but they spoke to my heart. The emotions that I found in the musical kept my eyes moist. The part where Alphonsus lost his case and was lamenting and making his decision to leave his profession, the confrontation between him and his father, his dialogue with his mother, the chapel on the street where he went to help the sick and the poor, all these scenes hit a raw nerve in me.
Although I do not know what was the church like during Alphonsus’s time, I can really see the same thing that was portrayed in the musical happening today. The song “If Not You Nor I” spoke volumes on how the church neglected those on the street, to cater to those who are rich and wealthy only.
Alphonsus sang of how the people suffer in vain but the clergy offers nothing, the church does nothing and the bishop, nothing. He asks where is the mercy that we preach from the pulpit? Can we not see the same thing happening today?
Although we can say that we are helping the poor, the destitute and the marginalised, how much are we actually doing? I’m not talking about material needs; these needs can be met without much difficulty. I am talking about their psychological needs, their emotional needs and perhaps their spiritual needs.
We preach of things from the pulpit, nice things and rosy things like love, humility, patience, the list goes on. But are we really practising what we preach? Of course, we also have to consider how overworked our priests are, though not all of them are overworked. But still, priests are ordained for the community, not for themselves. Have we lost our shepherds?
Jesus spoke of how sheep will recognise their own shepherd and how He is the Good Shepherd. A good shepherd will care for his flock without reservation, to a good shepherd, all his sheep are the same. And Jesus does indeed care for us, his love is unconditional. Just like the street people in the musical, Alphonsus was right when he says that they are also part of God’s fold. The question is; are our own shepherds able to recognise their own flock today?
Have our shepherds become conditional? Caring for the sheep which will produce high grade wool only and neglecting those who are weak or those which are unable to produce good wool. Alphonsus went all out to care for those who were in need of compassion, of care. Even though his friends rejected him and told him to give up, he persevered on because he believed that these people were also part of God’s flock.
In the song “Chapel on the Street”, the children were singing “who is this man? Who listens with his heart, who ministers to the lost?” As I listen to this song, tears formed in my eye, that song could well be sung today and finds itself to be relevant. After all, priests can preach from the pulpit but it is just words. Words without action is useless, perhaps some may think of this as harsh but what is the point of talking but not doing anything about it?
If a person who is hungry asks for bread, would we preach about God’s providence to him? Or do we give him some food to eat? We preach of forgiveness, but do we forgive those who are in need of forgiveness from us? People who are in need of the sacraments like confession or anointing, do we brush them off and say we have no time? Or give statements like “if he/she is not dying, don’t call me” It is no wonder that people are finding the church a cold place to be.
The experience from the musical has left me thinking and has really opened my eyes to the reality of things in the church. After all, more than 10 years has passed since I watched it for the first time. I would like to believe that I have grown wiser in those years and this emotion that I’m feeling as a result of the musical shows me just how much I’ve grown.
If we really want the church to be a place of love, a place where God reside, then we seriously need to look at ourselves. I’m not saying that I’m a good person, I have my own flaws too, we all do. We talk about evangelisation but if there is no love, then everything that we preach is just plain empty. Alphonsus preached not in words but in action, with love and compassion. Should not then we do the same ourselves?
