Pursuit of Happiness

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a village with little to do or have? There have been many times when my colleagues and I, when passing by small villages on our way to work, would remark on how nice it would be to just retire or stay in one of those “kampungs”. For many of us, especially those of us who live in the city, in concrete houses with many amnesties, we would find that idea insane. After all, who would want to live in a small house in a village with little or no modern appliances? One would know better.

Sometimes when we have the opportunity, my friends and I would talk to these villagers just to find out what kind of life they live. Very often, they are more relaxed and have little stress. They may not have much in terms of material possession or money but they have something that most of us in the city do not have….. a stress free life and life that happier and simpler. Isn’t that what we all look for eventually?

We tend to measure our lives by the things that we have or what we have achieved in terms of career and money. But are our lives measured just by those things? Is happiness truly measured by the things that we own and how high we have climbed the corporate ladder?

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you”. (Heb 13:5)

The quote from the Letter to the Hebrews is certainly apt for many of us. If we define happiness as having more and more money, then our lives will just be a series of nonstop misery and agony. Why do I say this? Have you ever observed the houses of the rich? Some of the common things you can find among those houses are guards, high brick walls, CCTV and guard dogs. People who are rich live in fear of being robbed or kidnapped. They live behind their walls and guards, thinking that they can be protected from danger. But they forget one thing… they have unconsciously imprisoned themselves with their riches.

Think about it. Would a person be happy if he lives behind walls, not wanting to mix around with anyone? When I was staying over at my sister’s house, I noticed that everyone kept to themselves. This is a gated community and people don’t talk to one another. I noticed that there is a small playground but I see no kids there. Is this what they call happiness? Sitting in their houses of stone, with the air conditioning blowing, and watching TV or playing video games?

When I was young, we ran around looking for things to entertain ourselves, whatever nature and our creativity could provide. I can still remember the simple joy and happiness that I felt while playing with simple things like bottle caps and slippers. Kids these days do not even know what are bottle caps.

We seem to have the lost the art of pursuing happiness. We seem to think that happiness comes from the money that we earn. We think that by giving our children money and gadgets, we are providing them the happiness that they want. But we forget that true happiness does not come from all these.

Money provides security, it is necessary but to what extent to we pursue money, thinking that it will make us happy? Money buys us the comfort that we need, it helps us to live a better life but how much is enough? Would we sacrifice our happiness over our pursuit of money? There will be some who say that when they have enough money they will be happy…but the question remains, how much is enough?

Pursuing happiness is a choice that we make. We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be miserable. What is the use of money when we are lying down in a hospital bed with numerous tubes in our body? Where is the happiness then? We can have tons of money but at that point of time, they are just pieces of paper.

Whatever state of life that we are in, whether or not we have tons of money or just enough to get by, we need to consciously make the choice to be happy. Happiness is a choice, not something that can be bought. No amount of money in this world can buy you happiness. They can buy what we think is happiness but it will never last.

Whatever choice that we make, we must realise that it will affect everyone around us as well. If we choose to be miserable, then everyone else around us will be miserable. If we choose to be happy regardless of the circumstances that we are in, then everyone else around us will also be happy.

The question is…dare we make that choice?

Mission to Foster Unity

While struggling to write this sharing, an inspiration came while I was watching the 3^rd Season of the TV Series Fringe. For most of us, this series would not be something which is familiar to us. The series focuses on what the characters call “Fringe events”, science which hovers on the periphery of accepted science e.g. wormholes, ESP, Telekinesis, parallel universes etc.

The scientist in the show found a way to enter into another parallel world, much like ours and brought back someone who did not belong to him. This event started off a chain of events which caused both worlds to experience degradation and eventual destruction. There was hope however. The person whom the scientist brought over was the one to save them by putting himself into a machine.

In the cliffhanger episode of the 3^rd season, this so called saviour went 15 years ahead into the future and saw what would happen and so realiaed that he had to go back to the past and make a different choice in order to avoid the end of both worlds. And so he did, he brought the people of the two world together so that they could work hand in hand to fix the degradation that was destroying both worlds.

I am not telling you this because I want you to watch the show. Rather, I was struck by the choice that the so called saviour made; the choice to bring both worlds together, to unite them to fight for survival.

The theme for this month is Mission to Foster Unity. Very often, we become united during the time of crisis, when disaster strikes. Just like the so called saviiour of the Fringe TV Series, it is up to us to make that choice whether to be united or to be separated. But unlike the TV show, we do not have the luxury of reversing our decision.

In the Decree Unitatis Redintegratio, (Decree on Ecumenism), the Fathers of the Second Vatican Council stated that, “The restoration of unity among all Christians is one of the principal concerns of the Second Vatican Council. Christ the Lord founded one Church and one Church only. However, many Christian communions present themselves to men as the true inheritors of Jesus Christ; all indeed profess to be followers of the Lord but differ in mind and go their different ways, as if Christ Himself were divided. Such division openly contradicts the will of Christ, scandalises the world, and damages the holy cause of preaching the Gospel to every creature.”

Unity is essential to the followers of Jesus. It is not just friendliness or togetherness, but perfect oneness: "that they may be one even as we are one"--we, Jesus' followers, are to have the oneness of God! In other words, Christians should give themselves completely to each other just as do the Persons of the Trinity, who are themselves, complete gift of self. As the Church is the body of Christ (cf. I Cor 12:13, Ephesians 1:23), she should reveal the love and unity of God.

The measure of following Jesus is love, a love that will manifest itself as unity:

I pray nor only for these, but also for those who through their teaching will come to believe in me. May they all be one, just as, Father, you are in me and I am in you, so that they also may be in us, sp that the world may believe it was you who sent me. I have given them the glory which you gave to me that they may be one as we are one. With me in them and you in me, may they be so perfected in unity tha the world may recognise that it was you who sent me and that you have loved them as you have loved me. (John 17:20-23)

The love among His disciples reveals their discipleship and finds its model in Christ in the total outpouring of His love on the cross. Unity lies at the heart of his mission; Jesus died for the unity of God's children: "Jesus [would] die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad." (John 11:51-52). The Acts of the Apostles confirms the reality of unity in the early Church when it reports that "the company of those who believed were of one heart and soul..." (4:32).

How is it possible to remain divided, if we have been "buried" through Baptism in the Lord's death, in the very act by which God, through the death of his Son, has broken down the walls of division? Division "openly contradicts the will of Christ, provides a stumbling block to the world, and inflicts damage on the most holy cause of proclaiming the Good News to every creature".

Division among Christians strikes are the heart of the Gospel message and impedes the Church from manifesting Christ's love and therefore his divinity to the world.

Lack of unity is a serious obstacle to the witness of evangelisation. Division contradicts the truth of the Gospel, an essential element of which is the call to unity, so that non-believers who meet missionaries each preaching different versions of the Gospel will think it to be a source of division, despite its presentation as a way of love.

Pope Paul VI, in his Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Nuntiandi [no. 77] put it this way:

As evangelisers, we must offer Christ's faithful not the image of people divided and separated by unedifying quarrels, but the image of people who are mature in faith and capable of finding a meeting-point beyond the real tensions, thanks to a shared, sincere and disinterested search for truth. Yes, the destiny of evangelisation is certainly bound up with the witness of unity given by the Church ... At this point we wish to emphasise the sign of unity among all Christians as the way and instrument of evangelisation. The division among Christians is a serious reality which impedes the very work of Christ.

Since the divisions in the Church so directly contradict the message of Jesus, the cause is that which contradicts Jesus and his message: sin. But who's sin?

There are many contributing causes behind division, but in the end, we must blame the sins of us Christians. No one is innocent of the sins that have led to division; exclusively blaming the "other side" is not only unhelpful, but also false:

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." (I John 1:8-10)

We Christians are sinners, called to conversion by the Lord who came to save sinners, not the just. Individual Christians as well as Christian communities must examine their consciences, acknowledge their condition as sinners and ask God for grace to undergo an interior conversion--to be radically (``to the root'') converted to the Truth of Christ. We must ask for the grace to leave useless controversies behind.

But before we can we talk of healing the divisions between churches, I feel that we need to heal the divisions that exists in our own community. We can say that no such division exist but deep down, we know that this is not true. We only need to look at our BECs and ministries to find this.

As I have mentioned during my sharing on “BEC and Mission”, “our mission can only be successful if we work together as one community instead of wanting to hog all glory for ourselves.” If we cannot be united, how can we talk about uniting the other churches? It would be like telling other people to clean up their house when our own house looks like a rubbish dump. Until and unless we clean up after ourselves, we can never tell others to clean up. But how to do this? How to foster unity among ourselves?

The key to this lies in the teaching of the Apostles, which, coincidentally, is our theme for our Jubilee Year celebration; Acts 2:42. “These remained faithful to the teaching of the apostles, to the brotherhood, to the breaking of bread and to the prayers'.

In the passage, we find four characteristics that define the early Christian community as a place of unity and love. In his address for the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI says, “that already at the moment of Pentecost the Holy Spirit descended on persons of different language and culture: this means that the Church embraces from the beginning people of different origins and, yet, precisely from these differences the Spirit creates one body. Pentecost, as the beginning of the Church, marks the enlargement of God's Covenant with all creatures, with all peoples at all times, so that the whole of creation will walk towards its true objective: to be a place of unity and love.

Let us then look at the passage. We have listening to the teaching of the Apostles, that is, listening to the testimony that they give of the mission, life, death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus. The community of believers recognises every effort made for the building of unity between Christians passes through the deepening of fidelity to the depositum fidei which the Apostles transmit to us. Firmness in the faith is the basis of Christian unity.

Secondly we have fraternal communion. In the times of the early Christian community, as also in our days, this is the most tangible expression, above all for the outside world, of the unity among the disciples of the Lord. We read in the Acts of the Apostles that the first Christians held everything in common and that those who had properties and goods sold them to distribute to the needy (cf. Acts 2:44-45)

Essential also in the life of the early community was the moment of the breaking of the bread, in which the Lord himself makes himself present with the only sacrifice of the Cross in his giving himself completely for the life of his friends. The Church lives from the Eucharist. This truth does not express only a daily experience of faith, but encloses in synthesis the nucleus of the mystery of the Church". Communion in Christ's sacrifice is the culmination of our union with God and therefore also represents the plenitude of the unity of the disciples of Christ, full communion

Prayer has always been the constant attitude of the disciples of Christ, what supports their daily lives in obedience to the will of God, as attested to us also by the words of the Apostle Paul, who writes to the Thessalonians in his first letter "rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; Ephesians 6:18). Christian prayer, as attested to us in the words of the Our Father, prayer of the family -- the "we" of the children of God, of the brothers and sisters -- speaks to a common Father. To be in an attitude of prayer, hence, implies being open to fraternity. Only in the "we" can we say the Our Father.

In the words of Pope Benedict XVI, “The path to visible unity among all Christians resides in prayer, because fundamentally we do not "build" unity, but it is "built" by God, it comes from Him, from the Trinitarian Mystery, from the unity of the Father with the Son in the dialogue of love which is the Holy Spirit and our ecumenical effort should be open to divine action, it must be a daily invocation of God's help. The Church is His and not ours.”

To conclude I would to share this quote from Thomas Merton with you, “We are already one. But we imagine that we are not. And what we have to recover is our original unity. What we have to be is what we are.”

The question for us is this; are willing to make the choice to change and be united amongst ourselves? If we can consciously make that choice, then our path to foster unity would have already begun. Do we dare to take that step?

Lent – More for Less or Less for More

A few days ago, while giving a talk on Ash Wednesday, I shared my Lenten experiences with the group that I was giving the talk to. One of the things that I shared is that very often my Lent is shot because there were so many things to do and so little time to reflect on what is the true meaning of Lent.

A few days after that, a friend of mine forwarded an article that spoke of doing less for more. That definitely struck a chord with me and certainly with her. Every year at Lent, we start planning for activities. We fall into the believe that in doing all these activities, we will be able to deepen our Lenten experience and therefore grow closer to God. But how true is that, really?

The writer, in his article, wrote that “Over the last few years, I’ve been struck by how much Lent has become something to do, something that requires action and energy from us, that requires thinking, planning, organising, and executing. I’ve seen some parishes where the handbook of Lenten activities looks like a prospectus for a graduate program in theology, with bible studies, book clubs, speakers, musical performances and the like.”

Certainly sounds familiar, don’t you think?

We treat Lent as a season where we must do something that very often we forget that Lent is also a season of being. For many of us, not doing anything is a sign that we are idle, that we are not making the best use of the season to get closer to God. One question that we need that we need to ask ourselves is this; will doing more things bring us closer to God?

When we organise an activity, we expand a lot of energy and time, in the planning and also the execution of the activity. Very often, we end up getting frustrated and stressed. Speaking from personal experience, there were times when I just wanted to blow up. We always end up having the same people organising the same activity, one reason being “you’ve done it before, so you are more experienced”. I find that reason a very lame one. To me, it’s just a way of saying “I want the activity but don’t ask me to organise it”

Lent is a time for our personal journey of conversion back to God. We begin our journey on Ash Wednesday, putting ashes on our forehead to signify our repentance and we rise again in glory with our Risen Lord on Easter Vigil. We die to ourselves and to our sins throughout Lent and are washed anew by the waters of baptism during Easter.

If we have so much to do and so much to attend to, how will we be able to make this journey or conversion and reconciliation? We rush here and there and end up tiring ourselves and having no energy to pray. Is this an effective way of a Lenten journey?

Some years back, I wrote an article on the need for silence. We love to surround ourselves with sound and sight, anything that can drown the silence around us. But silence is necessary if we want God to speak to us. God cannot reach us when there is chaos and noise in and around us. If we fill up our space with activities upon activities, where will God fit in?

We define ourselves in terms of achievements and accomplishments. We live in a future-oriented culture that relates time largely to efficiency and productivity. We are more inclined than ever to use time to accomplish results than to enhance relationships.

The focus of the Christian life should not be deeds and actions, but a relationship; it is not centred on a product, but on a Person. It is a matter of abiding in Christ Jesus, rather than fulfilling a set of religious formulae.

If we truly want to deepen our relationship with God and our own personal prayer life, we need to learn to slow down, to learn to be comfortable with silence and inactivity. That is the challenge that lies before us this season of Lent and every season of Lent that is to come. The question, then, is whether we dare to take up this challenge of doing less for more.

“In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength” (Isaiah 30:15).

天天好天 (Great Day)

A few weeks ago, I came across the poster for the movie Great Day, a local production in Cantonese, Mandarin and Hokkien. It looked interesting and I told myself that I must watch it.

Last Saturday, I had some free time and so I decided to go and catch the movie before it is taken off the big screen. I went alone because most of my friends don’t watch local movies, especially one in the Chinese language. (one of my friends remarked “local movie?? Sure not nice one… such biasness.)

And all along the way to Wangsa Walk, there were so many obstacles, heavy traffic, no parking spot (I had to drive for half an hour to get one) and it threatened to rain. But thank God I made it in time to get the ticket. Surprisingly the cinema was more than half filled. This goes to show how far our local movies have come.

Before watching the show, I had some form of idea of what the movie was about, mainly that it is a family type of drama and highly recommended by a friend who had watched it. But nothing prepared me for what was in store.

The movie was a story of 2 old men who were residents of an old folks home in Perlis. Both of them were constantly outdoing each other in terms of their childrens’ achievements. One day, of one them challenged the other to go to KL and take pictures of their children as proof of their words. One old man went while the other chickened out. Along the course of the movie, there were many other inter related scenes that added to the story line.

The old man finally found his daughter’s house and stayed with them. His only grandchild, a little girl, was initially hostile and rude towards him. Then one night, ths little girl was doing some calligraphy and asked the maid’s help. But the maid did not help and the girl ran after her. The old man then picked up the brush and started to write.

The little saw what her grandfather did and asked him to teach her. This was the beginning of a beautiful and lovely relationship between the two. They started spending more time with one another, playing video games together, playing the swings together etc. It was a truly beautiful segment.

One day, the school had a parent-child performance. Unfortunately the girl’s mum could not come because she had to work. And the girl went up on the stage and sang alone. It was quite sad to see the girl singing alone without her mother. Suddenly the grandfather appeared and they both sang and danced together. And we see the scene where the mother stood crying from afar.

I shall not describe any more of the movie. If any of you is reading this, go watch the movie, it’ll be worth your time and money.

The movie is really about love and family. The little girl grew up without a father (her parents were divorced) and so does not know what love really means. It was not until her grandfather turned up that she truly experienced the meaning of love. It was truly amazing to see what began as a cold and distant relationship blossom into a deep and lasting bond.

The movie has its funny moments of course. But I was struck by the moving scenes, especially one where both granddaughter and grandfather is no longer together. That scene really tore at my heart and I really wanted to cry at that moment. It is only in these moments, where we are separated from the ones we love, that we truly feel a longing for them.

This goes to show how important it is for us to cherish the people we have around us. Some of us work and work and never give a thought to those around us. Money is important and necessary but how far do we go to get money or wealth?

There are many things which money can buy but no matter how much we have, nothing can buy the love of our family and friends. This movie is a simple movie, but sometimes simplicity brings out the human that is in us. And I really salute the producers, cast, crew and writers of this movie. I seldom come across movies which are really good and for me this deserves a thumbs up. (I had wanted to clap at the end of the show but this is Malaysia, and people don’t do that so I did not)

If we do not cherish and be present to those around us, we may one day wake up and realise that we have everything but we have nothing. Because we have the things that can give us comfort but we have nothing that can give us love.

Would we want to end our life that way?

Spiritual Dryness

In his book, “An Introduction to Devout Life”, St Francis de Sales mentions this, “But these bright days will not last forever, and sometimes you will be so devoid of all devout feelings, that it will seem to you that your soul is a desert land, fruitless, sterile, wherein you can find no path leading to God, no drop of the waters of Grace to soften the dryness which threatens to choke it entirely.”

The above description tell us about the “desert” experience or spiritual dryness, a period where we feel “dry”, where we seem not able to connect with God. When we feel emptiness in prayer and “dryness” in our soul, it is a sign that we have “entered” the realm of the “desolate land of spiritual dryness”.

During one of my “desert” experience, I would say my daily prayers but I did it out of sheer obligation and nothing else. It was a truly faith testing period. I prayed the Psalms but it meant nothing to me. I called out to God but it was as if no one was on the other side of the conversation. I found it hard to stay faithful to my prayer life and nothing I did could remedy that situation. I was longing for my prayers to make some sense, but they never did.

During that time, my spiritual director advised me to persevere and never to lose hope in prayer. Easy words to say but in practise, it took a lot of effort to just pray and not despair. And after slightly more than a month, my prayer slowly took a turn for the better. I could slowly feel the presence of God during my prayer.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “Dryness belongs to contemplative prayer when the heart is separated from God, with no taste for thoughts, memories, and feelings, even spiritual ones. This is the moment of sheer faith clinging faithfully to Jesus in his agony and in his tomb...” (CCC #2371)

So how do we exit from this desolate land? Saint Therese of Lisieux offers this advice: “When I am in this state of spiritual dryness, unable to pray or to practice virtue, I look for little opportunities for the smallest trifles to please Jesus, such as a smile, a kindly word when I would rather be silent. . . . If no such occasion offers itself, I try at least to say over and over again that I love Him.”

All of us will go through this “desert experience” but we should not despair. All we need to do is to hope, persevere and never give up. Be faithful to our prayers and to Jesus, and eventually God will lead us out.