Here and there...

When I first got news that my dad has colon cancer, I was shocked. My mind went numb. It's like "How can this be?" And so sms were flying between me and Angie, my second sis on the situation. And since the operation was due to take place on Monday, I decided to take extra leave on Monday.

Yesterday while on the way to church, fear filled my heart, not knowing what to do or how to deal with this kind of situation. Although I have done pastoral care in a cancer hospital before, those people whom I met were strangers. This is my dad! Sigh... I couldn't really think straight ( I can hear my friends saying "Since when you ever think?")

So I decided to just pray for strength and for God's blessing on my dad as I did not know what exactly was the situation. After Mass, I went for dinner then home, wanting to sleep early because I had to get up early the next day. The following I was to follow a dear friend down to Melaka. I would go home and talk to my parents and offer whatever support I could.

The worse thing was I couldn't sleep. My eyes were wide open. Maybe it the tea that I drank :) or maybe it was the pain in my ribs. I don't know but I slept past 1am and got up around 6am. I was half asleep when I drove to SFX P to meet my friend. Lucky the roads were still clear.

And so, we made the journey down. When I got hme, I saw my dad outside the house. He looked so thin and his voice was so soft that I felt pain in my heart. I talked to him there and then and got more information on the situation. He also told me that he is to go to the hospital later. (the hospital is just opposite my house, well.. not excatly but close)

At 11.30am, me, my mum and my dad went to the hospital to arrange for admittance on Sunday for surgey and also to see the specialist. We waited quite awhile for the biopsy report. My legs were really stiff by then (really like cardboard) so I had to get up and walk around.

Finally we got to see the doctor and got the diagnosis from him and what's going to take place the next few days. That was the toughest part. Receiving the diagnosis, like having something blowing up in the face. I think my dad was in a shock and my mum shed tears. I can sense how they feel so I tried my best to comfort them.

Now we can only pray and hope for the best. The doctor is confident and optimistic though and I think that's a good sign. So we are kkeping our fingers crossed and most importantly, putting our trust in God.

That's all we can do. Pray.